I just realized I’m still kind of mad. I should have yelled at you from the top of my lungs, HOW THE *bleep* COULD YOU DO THAT?! I guess now I can scream it because you died. So how dare you linger in my head trying to tell me what’s right. You died you can’t say anything. You didn’t get a new number, move to another state, change your name legally, nope those would have been too easy to replace. Instead, you died. You crashed, you burned, forever suffocating your light. It will forever haunt my insides. But leave it up to you to go out with a surprise. Then we cremated what you left us with. Now marble is what your ashes are inside. So respectfully, your opinion well I am on the fence about hearing it and I am sure you know why. I’m pissed. I said it. You wrote me off, like I was some useless investment. Yeah, I know you thought it was better without your past. But never once did you consider the future consequences we all now get to sit with and have. I’m sorry, that’s selfish. I am a little mad. I forgive myself for not being there for you when I could have, I miss you more than I ever thought I would have. I HATE GRIEF!! It sometimes feels like I am the hostage and it the peace thief. I needed to get that out. I still and will forever love you, even though you hurt me more than anyone will ever know how.
By Sierra Mazzucca
Los Angeles Poet
#healing #grief #loss #poetry

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