I drift off sometimes and lose track of time. Where I misplace seconds and minutes that turn into hours of separation from my consciousness, and I. I would wonder what the cause of this was. So I mentioned it to Mr. M., and he said it’s the separation from union, known as Disassociation. That’s where you detach from your thoughts, feelings and memories. Like you go off into some blank place where there is no active energy. Just still, absent, floating. Yeah, that sounds like what I have been experiencing. I’ve been sorting through the facts and fibs scattered within the psyche catalog I have been keeping. Determining which memories were actuality, fever dreams, or scenes from old movies and shows I had seen. But no, they were chapters from a life I was trying to forget, desperately and quietly . So much so I mastered the art of being here, but not mentally. I don’t remember how old I was when I created a space within myself, where I would go when my consciousness felt inundated and overwhelmed. It worked well for many years. I could just stare off into the abyss, and forget the present, the here, the everything, I wasn’t . But that person is no longer me, and that process has no positive benefits for the next volume of this journey. So I may drift, only now I am aware and I notice it . I catch it, and reprocess it. I refuse to allow anymore of my time living, to be missed.
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