I was in the mirror more times than not. It’s I Iike I was trying to find a reflection I had lost. Which is weird because most of my life, I disliked the image in the mirror that I saw. I swore at myself quite a lot. I even cried to GOD why he continues to watch me break apart. Berate myself, and break my own heart. I really want to believe it’s his way of proving to me, that if I can’t find beauty in this body than how could someone else, or anybody? He does love me, but needed me to love me. Especially if I wanted to be able to accept another human’s love, for me. I practiced looking at my reflection through his eyes that he lent me. I saw a bright light that illuminated the darkest of spaces, and it was radiating from my heart of all places. Me, a simple basic being, a house for light? That is the vision of me, he sees? I was baffled, this can’t be. I always envisioned a cloud hovering over me just darkness, bleak. Now I see it wasn’t the cloud I should have been looking for, but the rainbow that came after the storm restored the desolate places that always yearned for more. I am still not perfect but when I see my reflection I no longer curse it and finally without harsh judgement, I observe it. I see beauty where I never could, not perfection because no human is perfect. I never lost my reflection like I once believed. He helped me clean my mirror so I could finally see my reflection without deception. From those carnival mirrors to a clear image of one restored and resurrected.

Leave a reply to Christopher Hall Cancel reply