Most times I can’t process a thought quick enough when I am up, and that’s when things start to build up. They conveniently pop up when I am in bed, trying to close my eyes for a night’s rest. They are all up, congregating ,smoking cigs in a circle, all in full conversation. While Working on more ways to stock pile useless thoughts in an already overcrowded space. But I am running low in this place. Now, I am up with these thoughts’ day after day. I stay up late while they take turns to sit on my couch individually. Because at night is the only time they seem to come from the dark and scream at me. It feels like they are on silent mode, all day collecting Until I am in a vulnerable state. Then they turn on the neon sign, which welcomes every single thought I can gather from the day. And one by one they come from a line, to express their ideas and opinions of mine. I listen, take notes, and give advice most of the time. But it doesn’t seem to stick, because they keep making appointments, and none of them skip. I have labeled these sessions the daytime confessions of little thought escapees. Even though they show up every night, it’s my choice to open that door and welcome them inside. But I know if I ignore them, they will stack up in size. Then one day, they leak out and into my everyday life. Causing friction in places I now need to wear slip grip slides. I think the face to thought process at night, has been making progress in certain areas. Specifically with sleep, where I have been deprived. I won’t complain today, because instead of 8, I get 5-6 hours a night. Now when I wake up, I feel a little lighter every time. I now try to process and address what I am able to without losing sleep or getting stressed, and then I say goodnight. Though a lie would be that this process is easy and I get it right every time, but I don’t. Today, I just acknowledge what I can, without losing more sleep and my mind.
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