Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

Curiosity

I’m not damaged.

I’m not broken.

Stop repeating lies and losing focus.

I’m on a mission to find why.

I trade hope for closeness, every time.

Where did I learn this unhealthy habit of mine?

I should have already recognized by the beginning signs.

If they are never curious beyond the depths, of my surface line.

Not intrigued about the hobbies or interests I like.

They never come into this, looking to build.

So why do I go in with hope for something to grow, where I know it never will?

I don’t need more chemistry.

But some reciprocal curiosity wouldn’t dampen things.

You are only engaging at the capacity you can.

I want depth, where you choose to host shallowness.

You want an unemotional investment that has a high yield savings, for your own self interest.

Your enjoyment was your intention.

Pleasant moments with no entanglements.

I wanted consistency and emotional stability.

You wanted clarity.

As to why I couldn’t just enjoy what you were generously offering.

Which was limited emotional bandwidth, and physical intimacy as bonding.

I just wanted to know your intentions with me.

I don’t believe that was an unfair request, I was asking.

Unfortunately we wanted closeness, but two different kinds as it turns out to be.

It just so happens that yours, isn’t working for me.

No one’s fault.

We are not coming from the same place of need.

I now acknowledge that if I was damaged, I wouldn’t be aching for meaning.

Like, if I was broken, there’d be no need for reflecting.

What I said and requested was necessary for me.

To preserve space for someone who will accept and reciprocate, the same curiosity for me.

Sierra Mazzucca

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3 responses to “Curiosity”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    “You wanted clarity.

    As to why I couldn’t just enjoy what you were generously offering.

    Which was limited emotional bandwidth, and physical intimacy as bonding.”

    When you read out the second line, I started chuckling at the delusional perspective of the opponent you were critiquing. And then as soon as you started reading the third line I’ve highlighted here, you had that same little chuckle I had in your voice at the start. And that just made me laugh even harder! LOL! 😂 I wish you could’ve seen that happen in real time, because that felt like such a wholesome moment. I really enjoyed that!

    “I now acknowledge that if I was damaged, I wouldn’t be aching for meaning.

    Like, if I was broken, there’d be no need for reflecting.”

    From my biased and selfish perspective, I love those two lines right there the most. As they connected right back to the beginning lines when I felt the urge of being like, Hell yeah girl! You tell em like it is! Lol!!!

    “You want an unemotional investment that has a high yield savings, for your own self interest.”

    Ok, ok, One more line! And then I’ll hush! LOL! That line right there right above is absolutely sick too! So freaking rad! I’m borrowing that line as a quote. And definitely will give you the credit for it! Man… SO sick!!!!

    My mood is on the I don’t give an absolute fuck train today. So that’s why I’ll finish with this. They say curiosity killed the cat. Well, not if it’s curious about you. Because, here on this platform you’re kind enough to give us a bit of depth. And I already love what I see! So I cannot even imagine what is farther down into the depths beyond what most of us will ever see. I’m sure it’s beautiful beyond my imagination. Which is why I’m just going to keep laughing at the dudes who aren’t curious enough, or who quite frankly are sociopathic and just don’t care. Like, okay guys. Go ahead, keep losing in life if that’s what you really want. And to them I endlessly say… “BRUH!” 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      I had to re record that part so many times and that giggle remained 🤣

      Coincidentally those are some of my favorite lines!

      You fucking rock!!!Just saying!!!

      Also These guys are just as broken as their game but here I am like put me on your team.

      I like learning lessons the hard way.

      Yes please use that line 😃

      Thanks for always making my day a little brighter ✨️ You are the best!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Christopher Hall Avatar
        Christopher Hall

        HAHA! I love that! The giggle wins the day! 🤣 Awww! You really are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever encountered! And I love it! And you know who else fucking rocks? This chick right here with them healing words of hers! Also, beware too though! Now that you recognize their game is broken they are going to be hitting you up even harder than before at times. Not all the time. Just here and there. When you stop wanting to be on their team, some will just double down even harder because they’ve never lost a challenge in their minds before. They will have to learn the hard way no means no.

        Which Segway’s perfectly into the fact I would love to have a long conversation with you one day if God, and the Universe permits in regards to this statement, “I like learning lessons the hard way.” The fact that you can say that is very courageous. Because I halfway agree with you on that. And I’m curious to hear how you fully came to that conclusion. Because I love that! ✨️

        Liked by 1 person

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