Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

The hardest goodbyes, are the ones where the person is still alive.

I already prepared and said my farewell to you in my mind.

Because by the time you take your leave, you will just be a shell of the man I once looked to for guidance with everything.

A father figure by chance, the universe supplied me.

You never judged me.

You never told me I was making a mistake.

You listened.

You’d give me advice if I asked.

And you’d hold your breath hoping the pain for me would pass.

Not even my own dad did that.

When I seen you in that bed, Most of you was gone by then.

A once jolly vibrant man, who now just occupied the skeleton of him.

It broke me.

It destroyed the healing I’d been doing.

You used to sing everywhere we went.

You never knew a stranger.

You always made new friends.

You serenaded people, who you didn’t know.

They’d look at you like you were crazy, but that is the man I used to know.

You always were the more the merrier, and there were times I wished you weren’t.

Oh but now I look back, and I understand God supplied you to teach me how be kind and generous.

How to love without conditions.

How to give with no limits.

How to listen intently.

Give advice, but only when someone solicits it from me.

I’m working on the making new relations part currently.

You’d be proud.

I just wish it didn’t take your memory for me to finally listen, and open up my heart like you said, I would know how.

I miss our talks.

I don’t have anyone like you, and I am afraid I never will.

You were a pillar when I had trouble standing tall and still.

You reassured me I will find love, because I am worthy.

You gave me so much, and sometimes I felt undeserving.

But you’d remind me of all my good qualities.

some I never even knew I had.

So this goodbye is so much harder, then the ones after one has passed.

Because I know I will say hi to you again, before you physically descend…

And that’s the hardest part of a goodbye to a loved one or living dear friend.