Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

I used to hate that you chose me.

To be a spirit that powers this human body.

Who you knew was broken, before you sent for me.

You saw everything that was gonna happen to and for me.

Yet you still said I was your favorite, you lied.

But why to me?

I thought that was a sin, or is that just a human quality?

I am tired of being silent, I have questions and I need you to answer me.

I feel like your court jester.

Constantly performing, just for your amusement with me.

If you are who they say you are, then why do you standby and watch us break apart?

If you created it, can’t you change a few parts?

I’ve never been scared of dying.

It’s the living that is terrifying.

I’ve tried to escape this life countless times, but something kept protecting me every time.

I don’t know why, because I have been known to request an early exit or three throughout my life.

I would beg it to stop my air, let me be.

I say how is this living, if I don’t feel like breathing?

Answers and signs never came in letters, for easy reading.

It’s the next breath I unconsciously forget, yet somehow I keep receiving.

It’s the heater I use that blew a fuse, and almost set fire to my place.

If I didn’t spill my coffee, I would have went up in a blaze.

Something keeps me safe.

Still I curse the skies because I don’t know why I have never felt safe from my own mind.

You made it, and you knew exactly what you created.

And you kept this unwavering faith in someone who lost hope, in you most days.

I was so angry for so long.

I had one point of view, because I was looking at it all wrong.

I was praying for answers, when I had them all along.

I lost faith when things didn’t go my way, then id look to you for some guidance and grace.

Even, after I just tried to take your place.

And, you already know what I am about to say.

I am grateful for my past, for my life, for your faith.

To be a Spirit powering this human body and mind, you actually made.

I am imperfect and still sometimes question the present, and gift it is supposed to be.

Though, now I don’t hate that you chose me.

I just know hurdles will be taller and harder for me.

Obstacles will become longer and more challenging to complete.

But I know it’s not because you want to scorn or punish me.

No.

It’s because you know I too, believe in my own abilities.

My worth and desire to see myself the way you have always seen me.

WORTHY.