Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

I’m tired

I’m tired.

I just want to stop faking it.

because, when am I gonna make it?

Currently, I am Spiritually spent.

Emotionally bent.

Physically over extended.

Mentally discontent.

I’ve tried countless things.

Yet here I am feeling like this again.

Like I have over exerted my spirit to its final end.

I wonder if they notice.

Who?

I don’t have friends.

No one knows me.

I’m disappearing slowly, well at least the parts of me I have been unconsciously holding.

No one probably can see.

because ive worked hard for my appearance to fit the description you named as my identity.

Shes strong, wise, she can handle anything.

Yet, here I am dancing like the flailing man.

Under this mask, trying to scotch tape pieces back together again.

I only am as strong as your eyes allow me to be,Your heart to believe and your mind thinks of me.

She got that super glue acting tape.

It’s a lifetime warranty.

Perfected this whole thing.

canceling, hiding, disguising effortlessly.

But im tired.

And recently sleep hasn’t been feeling restful for me.

I wake up like I already fought 3 wars instead of sleep.

I now grind my teeth, my jaw is always aching.

Must also be from all the boogie men I fight when I should be resting.

My spirit has been on this “journey” to find why my heart prefers me to be alone or hurting.

My body found peace in the pain, before it threw in the white flag of Mercy.

Which I seem to be doing a lot these days.

I’m tired and my body, mind, and spirit are hurting.

My blood feels like it’s on fire.

Showing myself grace even when I don’t believe.

It still feels very unnatural.

but I am worth it.

I’m worthy.

Sierra Mazzucca

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4 responses to “I’m tired”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    I did not expect this to come this soon!!!! What a very welcome surprise!!!! Your emotions were captured perfectly in your voice here. Let me try to put this into words…. It’s like this tired, numbed out, sort of disoriented and dissociated type of feeling that I feel in your voice. It’s sort of an, Ah! Fuck it! I’m barely holding on, but here we are. I’m done. But still somehow slugging along. That’s the kind of vibration I was feeling. That’s how I interpreted it. The lines in here were so fucking good too! Like holy shit!!!!!!

    Selfishly, this is therapeutic for me personally too. I’ve been in the absolute abyss. And uh… that’s putting it mildly. And some of these, if not all of these lines, I can most certainly relate within my life easily. The feeling of spiritual deprivation, tired of dealing with projecting something that is okay to the outside, while you are the only one who really knows the full truth, and has to deal with the aftermath of your own darkness. While everyone compliments you, but yet refuses to go deeper into the pain with you. And just…. This feeling of absolute soul exhaustion. Trying so hard to find peace, obtaining it for only a mere moment, only to have it trampled from underneath you again in an instant. It always leaves you feeling so defeated. But…. You know healing is on the other side. But there is always that dimension of fighting with how much longer that brutality can be taken.

    I know the pain, and I’ve always known the struggle. And actually, the word struggle is an insult to the type of heaviness and pressure that is experienced with something like this. It’s so hard to describe. But you already understand that. I’m honored to have been one of the first to have already heard this at the open mic! I’m so appreciative of you posting it here! I absolutely love every single fucking ounce of it. Enough to where I’m glad that I got hours off of my sleep taken, just to be able to experience this twice in one fucking night! How in the hell did I get that lucky? Hell if I know! Who needs sleep when I can read and hear this! Well fucking done! And bravo to you!!!! Sierra is just one of the best in biz peeps! The train is moving! And it can’t stop, won’t stop! Better get at the back of the line now haters! Cause you don’t want none of this poetic bliss! 😎👏🏻❤️🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Im so grateful to share such a place called earth, with such an amazingly kind , wise and worthy human. Thank you for showing up, and thank you for always being a light in the dark
      WE are seen and WE are heard. We Matter!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar
    The Mindful Migraine Blog

    you ARE worthy 💯💖

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Thank you! We all are 🩵

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