Some days its very apparent and I can see a change.
All the work I put into this journey.
The path I continue to walk, even when every part of me is hurting.
The scars don’t go away.
They whisper words of wisdom, lessons that will remain.
Knowing my flesh is weak, but my spirit is subservient.
I follow rules I cannot see, because I feel something greater is pushing me.
Still some days I agree with everything that little voice makes up about me.
I find truth in the messages it screams into my ear gallery.
And then I get stuck listening to all the lies it paints of me.
I do think things I shouldn’t repeat, Spells that don’t belong to me.
These are the same words that find happiness in destroying everything.
There is still a room internally, that assists in the breaking down of me.
and that’s where these words and beliefs are hiding.
Stealing many good days.
Using negative affirmations to disrupt my meditative state.
So this is when you decide to recite the 100s of things about me you hate?
I want to so badly stay in bed today.
But that’s that little voice trying to convince me I’m not ok.
and that’s not ok.
Because I know, I’m not ok.
And that is OK.
Change is not always noticeable or in your face.
Nor is it immediate.
More days then not, you will feel like its all been just talk.
So hold your ground.
Feel uncomfortable now, but know it will pass.
And the trauma you wont pass down.
So they don’t need to break chains that were attached to you.
from generations who couldn’t break the link that kept trauma which grew.
Be the change you allowed fear to keep you from receiving.
keeping you confused and in pain.
Some days a little voice may try to advise you to stop, give up, walk away.
That’s when you know something far bigger than you can imagine, is taking place.
One day years from today someone is going to look back at our lines and say, how grateful to you they are for breaking the chains.
We wont get to witness what we did.
But to know no one after me will carry unnecessary pain as I did, is encouraging.
Encouraging enough to continue the journey I am on, presently.
Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site 
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