Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

Keeping Score

The body keeps the score.

I understand that statement more and more.

All the self beatings I endured, but never said a word.

My body was keeping the score.

I was keeping tally of the bruises, and wounds I tried to hide.

This score was gathered from the trauma in my body, which I supplied.

I never thought it would come back and haunt me.

to steal my dreams and replace them with sleepless nights.

The body is weak, and spirit everlasting.

So I have to tend to the pain, I usually brush off.

Because I believe my body will eventually send out the Trojan horse.

To attack my body, in the name of pain keeping a high score.

Meditate and pray.

Eat healthy, drink water.

The sleepless nights from the pain, will eventually go away.

And remember because of the self work and progress you’ve made, deep wounds will resurface not to torture you.

But to finally receive aid.

It is best to not forget the body holds the score.

So don’t think you got away from pain, just because it didn’t come right away.

It will wait until you forget.

Till one day you awake, and you cant breathe or move comfortably.

You learn pain is patient, and ornery.

So when you try to resolve it, it will fight for the space it thinks it ought to be.

Just for today, Phantom pain is the only anguish from my body that I will receive.

The body keeps the score.

But I wont let it get beaten down, like I have done many times before.

Sierra Mazzucca

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4 responses to “Keeping Score”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    A couple of quick things here, I love that the overall theme and title here is based off that very popular book. “The Body Keeps The Score.” Go look it up people if anyone else is reading this comment! And second, I love the music choice in the background you had for this one specifically! Very good!

    I also love as well that I find so much relation to my personal journey in your words and experiences too! Especially here, most definitely I relate 💯 percent. Like right now in real time. Hell, I had a line in my post today with this same theme. Lollll! It indeed just doesn’t keep track of what externally happens, but what internally happens as well. Our self hatred that we induce upon ourselves never truly gets us anywhere.

    My personal favorite lines were, “It will wait until you forget. Till one day you awake, and you cant breathe or move comfortably. You learn pain is patient, and ornery.” Like seriously though, ain’t that the truth!!!!! Like, why in the hell does it have to be such an asshole about it though? Maybe it’s because we were assholes to ourselves maybe? Like, it’s tried to crack your ribs pretty much now at this point! It’s like yeah, let’s let it pinch that nerve right there. And make sure you don’t get any sleep. Like, c’mon! What an absolute dick move! Lollll!

    I most definitely find it inspiring that you’re somehow fighting through this with the tenacity of a lioness. Staying determined, and not letting this present torture sway you from the path. Giving yourself much deserved grace is always part of the best solution. Thank you for not giving up on yourself, and for carrying yourself with true strength. You’re so needed here! You’re never far from my mind. And I’m starting to really understand even more the gravity of the inspiration, love, and kindness that you’ve shown me. Thank you for just being you! 🌻

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    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      I do enjoy reading your take on every piece. With so much relatability at that. Comforting in a way. So thank you for all of those wonderful compliments. I am pushing through, just like you are. I hope you know you are strong as you ever believed and then some. You push through the pain because you know its not all for nothing. We are making it count!! That shows something!! Hope your day was amazing, just like you!!

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    2. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Also thank you for the background music mention. I make those little instrumentals for my pieces. Its actually pretty fun 😁

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Christopher Hall Avatar
        Christopher Hall

        Before I respond to that other comment here, No way!!!! Like that’s really fucking awesome! 😃 I remembered wondering in my mind right before you posted this comment as to how you got these instrumentals for your pieces! That is so sick! My ADHD mind will note it down in my notes to remember to ask you more about that sometime, and get the inside scoop on that! That is just too fucking cool and impressive that you do that! You fucking gooooo!👏🏻 And, damn….Like the first comment reply above this one is like very comforting and encouraging to me. I love that we’re believing in each other. But even more, we’re starting to actually believe it slowly but surely internally. I feel it happening to you. And I feel like it’s happening for me too. That’s special! What a beautiful and kindest soul you truly are!🌟

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