Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

The villian of my Psyche

It’s me, the villain of my psyche.

I am the person who’s hurting me.

And I keep on looking for someone to give me answers, like it’s some new discovery.

Like I’m unique.

Like your tests can’t see what I see.

But I am the villain.

It is me.

I’m the one turning against me.

And so my body is angry, and it keeps on trying to fight me.

I just can’t find peace within this war between my mind and me.

It’s out to hurt me, in spite of me trying to reprogram my harmful thinking.

My mind is playing devil’s advocate with my spirit who’s been run ragged, and having difficulty showing up with hope for me.

Or that’s just my mind trying to lie me.

Keep me in, hyper speed.

Unable to rest.

Unable to heal my body.

If my mind is a muscle, then why aren’t these muscle relaxers working?

It just keeps going and going and going.

I’m afraid my mind is stronger than any script you can write for me.

Amputation of the anterior cingulate cortex.

The sucker in charge of calling catastrophes.

I just wanted answers.

But the answer is…me.

Calm down. Release. Repeat.

I don’t want to be the villain of my psyche.

I demand repair within this body.

I am in charge of the person I am hurting.

I don’t listen to lies that flirt with the, “ woe is me side”.

I am in pain, but I know it will lessen in time.

My body is working out its own kinks recently.

Years and years of neglect.

Probably why the pain has been unmet.

Nothing to take it away. Remedy it quick.

I have to face it. Feel it. Hold it.

Then maybe my body will accept my apology.

As an invitation to seek peace.

FINALLY.

Sierra Mazzucca

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3 responses to “The villian of my Psyche”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    “Amputation of the anterior cingulate cortex. The sucker in charge of calling catastrophes.” Those were absolutely sick lines along with the rest of them in context together!

    The fact that you are continuing the 30 day poem challenge is incredible despite the brutal pain and suffering you’re enduring. This is such a banger of a poem hands down! And to no surprise of mine, it’s an absolutely magnificent hit with your other top ones! It’s a special one! And this absolutely deserves all of the love that will inevitably come its way!

    Please keep fighting, keep battling, keep going, and feel what has to be felt. I’ll continue on sending my prayers and vibes your way each day and night for more energy to help you in this fight. You will absolutely come out the other side better for it! You’re more than appreciated here! And thankfully, you are not alone here. And neither are you alone outside of this wonderful space either. You can and you will fucking get through this!!!!!👏🏻🙏🏻❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Your words, Gods ears!!

      Thank you for sending me such healing messages and for your prayers these past days. I am currently in less pain than I was earlier today, so that really counts for something!

      I will never give up fighting, especially for me and the others that have yet to find the words.

      Hope your day was as kind to you as you are to others ✨️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Christopher Hall Avatar
        Christopher Hall

        Fucking right! Hearing that is absolute opera to my ears!!!! HELLLLLL YESSSS LETTSS GOOOOO! I remember getting a very good and healing one out to you when I got that little bit of time I had in my car during the afternoon! So now I’ve got even more coming, and just a little more to keep the momentum going!

        That is such a profound and very beautiful statement! That’s what I’m talking about! Oh! And keep on being your kind self as well, and this world will continue to grow from your presence!!!! 👏🏻🙏🏻

        Liked by 1 person

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