Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

yearly Return

Oh no…
April, please don’t go.
I know May is knocking, anxious to come in.
While June is stalking, eagerly waiting to begin its torment.
Please don’t leave me alone with them, again.
The 6th month has been waiting to break me in.

The pain arrives start of April, until after her birthday ends.
The sadness never goes away.
It still hurts but it lessens, for three hundred and sixty-five days.
Until April comes back around to show its face.
Only to leave me alone with an empty ache after its 30th day.
This year it tried to really make me believe that I am weak.
And the pain I am feeling will never completely leave.
That may be true.
No matter how many bent knee and elbow sessions I call upon to relieve me of this grief, my heart will always have a space for you.It is just the strengthening part that hurts me to the point I am still a little angry.
To believe after all this suffering, something beautiful will come to be.
A testament to my faith in the one who knows what is good for me.
Learning grief can never have a deadline.
Never shows an ending.
I just have to learn to abide, quietly. Respectfully.
But from April to June 29th, I need a little extra hand holding.
To support me through, my soul strengthening.

Sierra Mazzucca

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3 responses to “yearly Return”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    You have changed my life completely ever since I’ve encountered you here in this space. That meant the world to me beyond what my words can express. So it hurts me to see you hurting. Death and grief is such a sick, twisted, evil son of a bitch. And all of this is happening to you around this time of year I see….My god….

    I have a memory from open mic last week that helps me understand that this is in reference to your sister I’m presuming? I know this is as sensitive as it gets. So I’m truly sorry, if I get that incorrect, or If I’m being offensive in clarifying. As long as I’m here, I will continue being a witness to you. And your beautiful words. I know that alone helps during this awful time. And I’m glad you’re in a safe space here to be able to write this all down for us. Please don’t ever forget about all the people who care about you in your life during this time as well. Lean on them, try to hold on as tightly as you can to them during this hell of a season. My hands are obviously always open as well as you know. I know I can’t make the pain go away, but I can at least help make it feel a tad less unbearable by being here and celebrating you. And so, I’m grateful for that. And I’m grateful for you Sierra. You’re a treasure. Might dare I say, an earth angel yourself! 🙌🏻🙏🏻💛

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Hello dear kind soul! I am so grateful for having the opportunity to meet you virtually, and now be able to share open mics with you. You have added such a big ray of sunshine daily to my life and I am blessed.

      Yes this is about my beautiful sister. Thank you for taking time to be here and feel with me. I am so freaking lucky our paths crossed as your presence is an addition to any setting. I appreciate your words and prayers 🙏🏼 ❤️

      Hopefully your day met you with the same kindness you give 💗

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Christopher Hall Avatar
        Christopher Hall

        I’m beyond grateful for your kind words. I’m just as blessed right back in return! And don’t you worry, she is certainly very proud of you today, and forever for who you’ve always been. 🙏🏼💗

        Liked by 1 person

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