Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

Please, set me free.

Sickness: a state of being unwell.
A sickness that you can’t see.
So it’s easy for most to believe. That there is something painfully happening behind the skin scenes.
See, my sickness doesn’t have a permanent fix.
No treatment.
No chemo regimen.
Radiation appointments or dialysis requirements.
No.
My sickness is an array of scheduled beatings of me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
My sickness has no cure, it’s forever mine and forever with me.
A sickness you can’t see.
But one that can be felt just as bad as any visible disease.
A sickness you can’t see.
Most times, they cut the Infected part out of bodies.
What if I am the infected in its entirety?
And life is the body I am ruining.
Then what do you do?
Still remove the diseased piece?
I’ve caused enough pain onto them and me.
Sometimes the best thing anyone can do is leave, permanently.
Its gotten to the point where I am in so much pain, its numbing almost like self made Novocain.
I am breaking through layers just to wake up and move.
Some days I scream, why was I picked to hold this disease for you?
To break myself and others down, because the anger in me is now oozing out?
To hold me hostage while my mind spins about?
Reminding me, that you can see and you are not happy with me?
Please, just tell me.
I don’t want to feel this wicked energy.
I want to be a calming presence, like ocean waves pulled back out to the rippling sea.
So if you would, please set me free.
Sincerely, me.

Sierra Mazzucca

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2 responses to “Please, set me free.”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    It’s hard to fathom that empty, but yet suffocating endlessly universal weight that just sits right in the middle of the chest. Matter of fact, from the chest, then out through the whole body down into the earth. It feels like everything, but yet it’s nothing at the same time. Feeling forever alone in the middle of the city, even though there are a sea of people endlessly waving hi! Or, Good afternoon! Or Good evening! Even your loved ones will throw a toast for you, and you just smile, wishing for only a moment of solace, even extending to chasing the aching feeling of sensual touch from another lover who you hope seduces you off your feet, regardless of whether it’s a stranger, or someone that stays around long term, hoping that will be enough to satisfy the craving for not what people call “belonging,” but just for the feeling of finally being able to feel like you truly deserve to exist. And just deserve to exist, but to actually feel the existence in your body and soul for the first time. You want to be inside of existence, and not just run through its wavelengths being perpetually caged out, and suspended on the outside, staying alone outside its temple in the darkness, endlessly floating about without ever being allowed in. And it matters because living is truly supposed to be a shared experience and existence. Because what’s the point in living, if it’s not a shared experience. There is no healthy sense of self, without another. There is no “loving your neighbor as yourself,” without another neighbor to love, and be loved by. To be truly seen, existing without conditions. Period. Where is Adam without Eve? And where is Eve without Adam? Being forever alone inside, without the means to cure it, is the truest and sickest of all cruelties of suffering in this life. I’m glad a lot of people don’t have to experience that. I wouldn’t ever wish that on them.

    So there ya go! That should make some coherent sense hopefully! LOL. I’ll finish off by saying something that shouldn’t be radical but it is, I hope you post more of these goddamn dark pieces. The more people hide and run from the darkness, the darker it will become. There is no escaping from it, so we might as well face it with courage. And not only face it, but dance with it with a smirk on our face. It’s not actually our enemy really, if we only make it such. Good and bad. Light and dark. Two forces that are never actually contradictory. I thought the audio was great, and the instrumental was wicked as always! Your words have impacted me, and have helped save this life of mine before. And the gratitude for that extends into the infinite. Alright, I’ve said enough. 🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      You always have the right words to say, dear soul. I am so fucking grateful for your existence beyond words. I will write until my mind decides its had enough and my heart stops singing the song of life.

      Thank you for making it seem less dark. Even so, light and dark are necessary.

      Thank you for being here.

      You are a gift. Thank you 🩶🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

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