Throughout our lifeline, we will create safety and survival mechanisms out of necessity.
The human ability to adapt, accordingly.
All of which at some point in time served a purpose, in the name of surviving.
Easily able to take the impact of the arrows that were aimed at me, for strengthening.
I’ve grown quite familiar with pain, anger, regret and shame.
And how my anxiety takes over, where joy finds it hard to create a space to claim.
Or why motor proteins transport vesicles, filled with endorphins along cellular tracks either way.
It doesn’t matter if their delivery sticks or stays.
It just keeps bringing happiness closer with each step it takes.
That’s silent faith.
I have fought myself at every life corner and stage.
All in the name of a lie, that happiness is an impossible feeling for me to attain and maintain.
Though, I couldn’t express what made me feel that way.
For decades, I became my own troll under the bridge I made.
Preventing smiles, giggles and glee from being part of my day.
Like I couldn’t stop the old narrative from
Auto-piloting inside me.
Not even realizing if I just let go, I will allow God to do his thing.
So worrying about everything out of old habit, will now be his responsibility.
And loud faith will replace the whispering doubt structured beams, that once supported me.
I can finally burn the bridge I built out of survival and security.
Here’s to giving up old behaviors that no longer suit me or produce positivity.
I’m handing over all my pain and anxiety, as Mathew 6:34 reads be not anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
I don’t have to be in fear worrying.
All I have to do is ask and it will be given to me.
Knock, and he will open his door welcoming.
Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site 
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