Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

I’ve remained calm and collected just the same.
I’ve gone with your flow.
Been alone like you insist I remain.
I’ve seen the love you disburse to people around me.
Just skipping over me every time, entirely.
Like I’m a black hole.
Where nothing good goes in, or comes out from inside me.
Why have you chosen to exclude me from falling in love or someone sane falling for me?
Instead, you just leave me sinking in the boat of my imaginations misery.
Finding it hard to breathe under the weight.
Always dangle hearts in front of me.
After I finally catch my breath from the last test you used to strengthen me.
You have the power to excuse this pain.
Toss me a line, save me from drowning in loves name.
Yet, still here I am suffocated and feeling regurgitated on your time never mine.
I know you say the reward is great in heaven for the poor, the hungry and weeping.
I’ve been empty, broken and lamenting.
My tear wells have dried up indefinitely.
My heart is showing signs of irreparable damage to my power lines.
I turn to you without pride.
I ask for comfort In place of distress.
However that looks, it’s not my place to plan out or imagine it.
I hope for deliverance from my imagination.
For this discomfort and loneliness is not something I want to transfer, after I leave this pit of damnation.
May I not be earthly rich when I leave this place.
For all my comfort will have been received in material gifts, during this human stay.
I pray the pain here is worth all the rewards the stories promised we’d be repaid.
And maybe love will make its way to my heart, before you see fit for me to leave this place.
Hopefully while I have the ability to reciprocate.
Because recently I’ve been mind traveling, as an escape
Teleporting mentally, from everything.
It’s the one place I have access to emotions I misplaced.
There are so many feelings I pushed away.
It’s my prefrontal cortexes’ fault.
It did a great job suppressing negative thoughts.
Lessening the outgoing signals the amygdala gave off.
Only I am here trying rewind a timeline that has many missing slots.
Like falling in love.
And
Not the one imposed through blood.
I’ve been still long enough.
Just tell me with this flesh body ever be inlove.