Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

I am.you are. we are, individually, collectively the universe in its entirety.
Little flesh sacks, made of energy.
So why do I still feel so depleted, lonely and unloved even after awakening?
If I am everything expressing itself congruently, why does it feel so defeating?

I listened to a voice worth repeating.
His words went you are alone because you no longer see the magic show and feel surprised.
You already know the rabbits in the hat.
There is no excitement derived when you understand and realize you are everything outside.
You are the whole thing. Already complete.
This null idea that we need someone whole is like a wave thinking it needs another wave to become water. Or the sea.
It was always water.
But the world convinced us we are all separate entities.
Still that man insisted this loneliness is a feature which is the introduction to something out of the ordinary.
Loneliness was a story I had been telling myself, to make it easier to sit higher up on the shelf.
Out of the way of heartbreak.
Mainly caused by self.
Before awakening I seen and agreed with the way humans depicted love should be.
But that way is transactional.
His words would say it’s a barter system between 2 ghosts in the dark, hoping to see the light of day.
I was taught like many others that my other half is somewhere out there looking for me.
That I am not complete until we meet.
And I have been playing dress up to someones made up bullcrap about me.
They had no Whimsical thought threads.
So, I was to continue and believe this bullshit I was fed and digested unconsciously.
Mantras on repeat, that I will remain incomplete if I don’t find my heart’s missing piece.
That’s fiction to say the least.
And another brainwashing technique to break an already broken humanity.
I was not awake for many years, so I couldn’t break that hypnotic state.
I just kept searching, hoping I will find my other half one day.
And that is supposed to be romance?
This constant search for a piece that will never make you feel complete.

Just a thought mirage. The image is sneaky and it’s mission is to deceive. Love is fear, dressed up in Versace. Sparkly.
The possible rewards draw you in.
Yes it’s good for a moment in the beginning when excitement loses you sleep.
Or never ending thinking of the person and what they are doing.
And this is called falling in love.
As if it happens to you, but it’s something you do.
It stems from need the desperate demand to flee from the uncomfortability of being alone with ourselves.
Scared of being with just this stranger to you.
To “the self”.
It’s been forced onto us to believe there is a necessity for us to prove that we have value, we exist.
And that another finds us deserving of that deep attention we yearn to get.
When I woke up I seen everything as it was.
The bargaining between two things, to give the other something the other thinks they need.
So, I am no longer interested in chasing other beings.
There is nothing I am missing.

I am complete, awakened listening.
I still see the ability involved in romanticizing and I will take a moment to observe this without being fooled by it.
But the idea that I have a void inside me, that needs filling Is false. It was a story I told myself. tailored my entire existence around to continue to search for what never needed to be found.
Sadly there is a piece and price to pay when you awake.
You see the acting and all the charades.
So, you are lonely because you are too aware to return to that old thinking state.
And one day you find someone who is also awake, and aware.
They don’t need someone externally to feel whole internally.
Two expressions of the same reality.
Experiencing life the same, but differently.