Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

testing 1…2

Time after time, I find myself dropping to my knees.
Down to the same indented part in the ground, that has lately become home for me.
Begging for answers to be sent first- class mail delivery.
But when I pray for strength, you send more challenges for me to complete.
I assume it is to give me muscles spiritually, and mentally.
Before physically strengthening my body.
Either way you listen to my aches and soothe the sores I make.
However it is on your time, and that you usually take.
I get tired and scream, this is all too much for one human being.
Why do you keep testing me?
Will I ever be the spiritual genius you are training me to be?
You have this relentless faith in me.
And even more so when I find it hard to believe in my own abilities.
Regardless of the things I said to you in poor taste, you comfort my soul until I myself can care for my own aches.
And I have been asking you for things so casually every day.
Like you are some sort of ATM machine here to service beings that just take.
Lately I feel ignored, like you blocked me.
Ghosted me.
Credit declined.
No peace has been paid onto me for some time.
And For that faithless way of thinking I am sorry, it is not mine.
I’m just getting antsy in this flesh sack you designed for me.
Feeling this human loneliness, I wish you made me differently.
I am aware I don’t fall for old tricks so easily.
I understand there is a man behind the curtain trying to control me.
But I see past the deceptive cloak the magician is wearing.
I know I have a purpose but the tricks will continue to distract and deter me.
Keep me thinking I have something missing.
So I keep searching. Feeling empty. Undeserving.
Still I pray to you. I sometimes come in pieces hoping whole is the miracle you can make of me.
I ask you to continue to guide the path my choices made.
That you can show grace when sending new pop quizzes for me to take.
I will forever be grateful for this life you allowed me to make.
Especially for the beautiful human you helped me create.
If this rocky path is where you need me to be, then for you I will grow callouses on the bottom of my feet.
I will continue to walk the road you laid ahead of me.
For you have a purpose for me, in everything.

Sierra

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2 responses to “testing 1…2”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    I haven’t even started reading this yet and I’m already getting a good chuckle and a smile, because your title is just so fucking good. Makes sense though, cause it’s just totally you! Like, here we go! We’re about to get another gem dropped on us again here lol! Alright, time to relax and read here. I’ll be back.

    Wow! So that was interesting. For whatever reason, I felt this desire pulling me to read this out loud verbally, instead of mentally in this instance. So, after a few seconds of resisting that, I instead listened and did it. Now I understand why. 🙏🏻

    So uh, you like dropping dimes all the time there don’t ya? Trust me, I can tell. Cause you fucking did it again. LOL. This was vibrationally calm, soaked in the waters of very compelling spiritual inspiration that those in the narrow paths will understand. Doubt, getting on our knees craving for peace from the trials. And then quietness, that later turns into an answered prayer that you didn’t expect. Yeah, that’s definitely the vibe. And most importantly, gratitude. Mixed with that tenacity! The tenacity that I felt from this line here, “If this rocky path is where you need me to be, then for you I will grow callouses on the bottom of my feet.” If there is certainly one thing I have learned about you, it’s that you’re not a quitter. That line says it all.

    My bias in me absolutely loves that you’re walking down that path, and that you are trusting in GOD unwaveringly and not giving up on this life. I saw it in you last week at open mic. I could feel the glow, peace, and true inner confidence from you. That’s priceless. And that, gives me joy. You did a great job again! And if you ever feel self conscious still when recording, then don’t. Please know that you have such a unique and beautiful voice. It’s my favorite! It always makes your words feel more personal! And when it comes to this piece in particular, your voice truly was life-giving here. Thank you for showing up! I always enjoy seeing you. And so I’m grateful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Sierra Avatar
      Sierra

      As always, thank you for shining your light and being here. You truly make posting fun as I really do love everything you have to say after reading it.
      You have made this journey a little easier. You are such an amazing human that is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. You bring a smile to my face every time you come here and to open mic. I am so grateful our paths crossed as they have before. That is the gift in this lifetime, the reconnecting of two lights.

      I hope you had an amazing day
      We are not quiters!!!
      Also, that line you referenced was my favorite too. Can’t wait to see and hear you tomorrow!!

      Liked by 1 person

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