I pray in small spurts all throughout my day.
An expert at bending my knees and elbows while you escort my pain away.
I turn to you for peace and serenity in place of the ruminating thoughts that often suffocate me.
So, you set up scenes where chaos breeds to make me stronger, to get through anything.
Because then I would need to change my thoughts, rearrange a programs entire way of processing.
I still sometimes feel lost, but I know I am right where you need me to be.
I felt blind and deaf for so long.
I was always surprised how I was still in one piece, moving along.
Not even considering you were the one carrying me until I eventually got strong.
Shaping me, while holding my hand.
Guiding me even after I yelled from a place of fear, that you only want to see me suffer here.
All you do is tease me with shiny things and little pois-men who dress up to be kind and caring.
But they are all red flags, died green.
The ol bait and switch.
Waving them as if they were self Proclaimed victories.
Why during the darkest moments does it feel like you gave up on me?
They say we are to learn from our mistakes, they are enlightening.
I guess my stubborn tendencies allowed me to understand you never sought out to punish or hurt me.
You knew the devil was lurking.
So you kept me busy with obstacles and fires for me to keep fighting.
Too busy to let his voice inside me.
Evil never tried to convince me GOD was not real, it would say there is no point in trying when the battle will always be uphill.
And so what if it is.
I know I am not alone even when it may feel as though.
My prayers reach you no matter how low I may go.
Your hand will always there to hold.
No matter how hard it gets I pray I never lose hope, or that fertile space.
However if I do, you will be there to guide me back to a place of faith.
I’m not scared of the devil, I will not break.
It should be scared of me and the moves I am willing to make, to show he has no power over any one or thing that lives and walks in faith.
Care to share ?