Hi, I’m Sierra Mazzucca. I want to welcome to my little corner of the internet—where words find their way through the heart’s tangled paths. This blog is home to poetry born from the quiet and loud moments of life. I write to give shape to what we often struggle to say—grief, love, healing, hope, faith, and the simple weight of everyday experience. Whether you’re navigating mental health challenges, processing loss, celebrating love, or searching for something deeper, I hope my words meet you where you are. Each poem is a reflection, a release, a reminder that you’re not alone. Thank you for being here.

  • Hey, I’m still working here

    Still working on my processing program to make some new paths. Though, I have to be honest today I feel angry and sad. I want to burn every way my feelings can travel down, right to the parts that turn them into actions, from those feeling clowns. I never said the wellness journey was all butterflies and bubbles. It’s definitely not all sunny days with no troubles. No, the work is endless and forever pulling doubles. Daily I am learning new tools for my emotional construction workers to use. Whereas before they just sealed up any parts that seemed weak and too broken to use. The out of sight and out of mind philosophy catches up, one brick at a time. I promise you as I am currently cleaning up the large piles, they left me behind. Bricks made from undealt trauma, anger, sadness, worry, and doubt. All of which I was shown to just ignore and cast out. Taught I don’t have to face it, just pretend to feel alright. So I did, until I needed to process the darkness into light. I was reminded why I chose for so long not to face that side. It was full of everything I was taught to hate about myself and hide. I’m not broken and damaged, disregarded or used. I was a child who was taught by watching adults: how to act, react and how and when emotions are to be used. I will say I’m getting better at using the “I” statements , more than the youse. I understand now that healing daily is what I need to choose to do. Otherwise I will get stuck being a victim following old damaging rules. Though I am still human and emotions have roles. Today I was angry and sad but now I acknowledge those feelings instead of holding on, I feel them and allow them to pass. Progress on the endless journey for wellness is never going to be an easy path, but it will support a life worth living unlike the weight you once carried from someone else’s past.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

    Los Angeles Poet

    #progress #self-love #poetry #inspiration

  • A little mad, still I LOVE YOU

    I just realized I’m still kind of mad. I should have yelled at you from the top of my lungs, HOW THE *bleep* COULD YOU DO THAT?! I guess now I can scream it because you died. So how dare you linger in my head trying to tell me what’s right. You died you can’t say anything. You didn’t get a new number, move to another state, change your name legally, nope those would have been too easy to replace. Instead, you died. You crashed, you burned, forever suffocating your light. It will forever haunt my insides. But leave it up to you to go out with a surprise. Then we cremated what you left us with. Now marble is what your ashes are inside. So respectfully, your opinion well I am on the fence about hearing it and I am sure you know why. I’m pissed. I said it. You wrote me off, like I was some useless investment. Yeah, I know you thought it was better without your past. But never once did you consider the future consequences we all now get to sit with and have. I’m sorry, that’s selfish. I am a little mad. I forgive myself for not being there for you when I could have, I miss you more than I ever thought I would have. I HATE GRIEF!! It sometimes feels like I am the hostage and it the peace thief. I needed to get that out. I still and will forever love you, even though you hurt me more than anyone will ever know how.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

    Los Angeles Poet

    #healing #grief #loss #poetry

  • 3 Phases after Hi

    So there are 3 phases when falling in love.Though I wouldn’t know as I usually jet past the first two of em. But really they come out of nowhere when I’ve just settled down, that part of my body that was hopelessly looking around. That high is addicting, overtaking, and why I’m mentally gone off on some fantasy right now. Currently, I’m lacking brain chemicals and your presence releases Dopamine through my chemical dispenser somehow. Don’t worry, I sealed it off to prevent further leaks. I literally ran past Noradrenaline who would have normally given me a sign like sweaty palms or butterflies. You know, to send a signal that I may like you a little more than I originally fantasized. Though appears she’s running low on what she can currently provide me tonight. You didn’t ask but it felt kind of nice after you hugged me, Oxytocin sent a shiver up my spine. It went straight to my heart, where Vasopressin was motivating and praying for a connecting line. I am assuming so this phase can last forever between your body and mine, or even in my mind. But I guess we can start with our names, and a handshake, hi. As I usually rush into things rather quickly. So slow pace before Serotonin steps aside. Letting Cortisone work out the stress from excitement, Norepinephrine made inside. Making way for Oxytocin and Vasopressin to bond this connection between you and I.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

    Los Angeles Poet

    #healing #inspiration #poetry

  • Generational Identity Crisis

    When I stop and try to understand who I am or how this version came to be, I find myself going back and it hits me. I’ve only ever known who I was because of things I was taught and names I picked up. I never thought to second guess the life my parents said they blessed me with. The characteristic traits they gave to me as their individual gifts. I didn’t think it all that bad when dad threw mom around like he had, just before our breakfast, then class. It was branded into me that was some kind of normalcy, in other families. It wasn’t, and I was too young to do anything. I was told what to do, how to act and inevitably, who to be. I was never given any other choice. I was told to lower my standards, before I even knew they were set for me. I didn’t learn until now that I have a voice which can actually project from me. Yet, still sometimes I revert back to her and forget these things. Now I can give that little girl some space because as it happens to be, she grew up and never grew out of feeling alone, out of control, small and weak. She didn’t believe someone from where she came from was worthy of any good or positive opportunities, until she woke up, in her early 30s. That’s when she started listening to the parts of her that never stopped hurting. She gave them a chance to finally be tended to and seen. No longer stuffed away in a box labeled: DO NOT OPEN ME. These days she’s working on a new blueprint for her own identity. Without infecting it with the old and outdated programming. So who was I and who was this me but a version of an ego forced upon me. Now, that box is almost empty , it has been a long time coming. I took the parts out that I was told were rotten and I’d be better without. But my heart was never a piece of produce, or trash to toss aside, and count out. My presence wasn’t a burden, and my life with me is not better without. Mom didn’t deserve the pain she unknowingly kept, and gave out. She was never told that she could be someone more than the old records message in her head, which constantly played aloud. Eventually forcing any part of an identity to retreat, causing her to be defined by the man who kept her voiceless and lonely. Dad also knew no better as he was brought up the same way. He was showed the role of who he was to play, and so the generational identity crisis game was put on replay. Egos were made identities removed, which were all based off of someone else’s lack of ability to choose what will separate him/her from the rest of the fools.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

    Los Angeles Poet

    #healing #breakingchains #poetry

  • Meeting time

    Sending out a signal to all involved. We need to set a meeting for the parts that go AWOL. My subconscious has been running me tirelessly, without even thinking of asking consciousness to intervene. My preconscious, must be on an endless unauthorized leave, allowing my sub to lead. So I then am left with an outdated, broken tape recorder replaying only the untruths about me, with no ending seen. It all started the very first moment I swallowed a negative self- thought allowing it to breed, birthing a recording of only the bad in me. Which I to revert to when I am in need. This tape was an enemy, who I allowed to befriend the most precious and delicate parts of me. It was false reassuring messages I would keep on repeat, because I never allowed anything positive for my memory to keep. I didn’t know I had the ability to stop these old lies from ruminating endlessly in my mind. I never believed anything then what I felt on the inside. Sadly that was infected and infested from all the years of being angry, bitter, full of self -resentment and traumatic triggers. I wanted to have a meeting to show my thanks, but to also reclaim my life and insert a new tape. This one will host my preconscious state. I learned my lesson, so I won’t hit record unless the message recorded plays how capable and worthy I am for everything that comes my way. I am strong, I am light, I am blessed to live life. I am love, I feel love, I am alive on the inside. This meeting is complete , hope the message was received, subconscious you no longer need to be the lead. I need you but, you need new programing. Minutes entered, have a great day. Remember think, process then react accordingly.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

  • Faulty source

    All of these concepts we have learned to believe, they’re nonsense. Don’t worry as we were just following lead. We couldn’t see any different because we were brainwashed with their creed. They convinced us of our roles, which were to take on unquestionably. The parts we play were created by ancestors past generations who also couldn’t see, the very blueprint of living they’d been following. It was built from another’s fears that they themselves didn’t believe. Faith was a villain at some point in history, as it allowed us to trek on the same road, we saw others suffering on miserably. That very same word, allowed a deeper voice to be heard eventually. It was only when we found the source of our pain and misery that we detached from it, like a cord from a faulty outlet who no longer supports our needs. We have realized we channel and manifest the good, the bad, the in between, and then the universe delivers generously. We can now safely discard those GPS instructions for living, that were installed before infancy. They only took us to places where someone else’s imagination would limit our ability to think freely. So burn the old books and stories they fed. Delete the old routes to living that were embedded in your head. You don’t have to put on a costume just because the generations before you did. Society is finally waking up and seeing the truth, we have all been pawns in a game of chess unable to make our own move. I choose to start living before the end of my line, which makes a full circle back with a new message in tact, just follow your heart. No more following someone else’s map.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

  • Restoration

    Returning back to previous state would be a dream if I were a butterfly, with wings that could carry me far away. From the beginning point where anguish became my cape, unable to fly, too heavy was my hearts weight. I got stuck, I couldn’t move. I was forced to face the cocoons dark space. It was time with no face before I broke free and shed the comfort that restored me. Or so I thought, but the want for restoration is the first box to check off. There are many exits and check points along the way. Despair waits like a stop sign at an all 4 way. Sometimes you hang there a little too long, you slowly forget that you can choose to move on. You get comfortable with everything going wrong, so you unconsciously manifest it all to prolong. Preventing the freedom, you once blocked yourself from. The one you convinced yourself you didn’t deserve because you made an internal agreement, that was never actually yours. You have and always had the ability to decide which way to go, which weighted belief to hold onto and which to toss aside. Like the caterpillar shedding its chrysalis, who shelters it through the changes for many nights until the last stage of histogenesis the process where the body reorganizes its Insides. It doesn’t ever return back to its previous state but after the hard transition a beautiful butterfly will take its place.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

  • Seedlings

    Everyone is different. No, we are not the same. However, we all bare common the gift of humanity and some the curse of ancestral chains. Most of my life I believed there must be something wrong with me. I couldn’t think a positive thought. I couldn’t break free from the messages I had been fed through my roots, before any early memory. I always just thought well maybe everyone in my family is poisoned and bad, but we were all just making do with the chains our past ancestors had built and attached. I always felt less than never enough, but those were never my feelings. It was the infected soil and environment in which I had grown up. No one ever believed such a far past lived history, could still have relevancy. But it did, because it was trying to suffocate me. So, I decided I would break free. Even if I do not get to reap the benefits living, at least I know my daughter will get to see a life full of endless possibilities. Replanting with my healed seeds so all future legacies will be able to root in soil that supports growth, love and community. Never feeling like a burden on humanity because some ancestor planted their fear and anger, which rooted and clung onto my family tree. So like the Dandelions as they change, they leave behind seeds that turn into seedlings which grow more weeds. Without the wind the seeds would not spread to grow. Humans, need a bit of force to thrive. Still we need to keep old beliefs in the past as they will poison our new roots preventing healthy life. Everyone is different but some may find we share the same want and that is to live purposefully and experience life.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

  • Changing

    The change is occurring.

    You know the big change.

    No one really talks about the one after age 30, that our bodies and minds start to see.

    The transition from youth to maturity.

    It was only observed but seldom thought about to converse.

    I never planned for gravity to sneak up on me and disturb my body so intrusively.

    I didn’t dream of a day where my hairs would start to thin and turn gray.

    Or for my memory so early on, to play keep away.

    I never anticipated that the vulnerable body I once despised, would become one I now loved to be in and no longer hide.

    No one said that the limits I believed, were just previous boundaries, built by other peoples fears who came before me.

    They never said taking them on would decrease my ability to reach.

    I had to learn that on my own, as these things they didn’t know and they couldn’t teach.

    I never imagined I could learn to listen before I speak,specifically to myself.

    Because no one encouraged me to believe that what I thought or felt was worthy.

    As they didn’t know they were deserving. No one really knew this change was certain.

    I just wish I learned sooner to love the skin I am in, the body I reside and the soul I encase.

    I would have enjoyed every single moment a minute longer, at a slower pace. Boxed more memories, so I have backup just in case.

    We are changing every day.

    So I am telling you now to mentally prepare ahead, today.

    Let’s start savoring every single second you get in this vessel that will store all your memories in a safe space.

    because one day that will be your only escape from a body and mind the world slowly takes back and confiscates.

    Now you know the change is inevitable, so embrace the body and mind that time has still allowed you to still call mine.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

  • It’s Yours

    Ever since I can recall, happiness and joy were never eager friends, they were no friend of mine at all.

    So when I found myself starting to experience glee, I would tell myself it didn’t belong to me.

    I tried desperately to control that E, but my brain was wired, and it was working against me.

    So whenever something joyful and exciting occurred, I would convince myself it was not mine and how could I feel it was mine to deserve.

    Cherophobia is an irrational aversion to happiness, worried something will happen.

    It’s a belief. Which is an acceptance of a statement, it can only thrive when we give it energy to survive.

    Its just my whole life anytime I have felt immense peace, my brain literally gets on the loud speaker and announces this feeling has no business inside me.

    That false message is usually pushed out by anticipatory anxiety, always scared of future events as they are not controlled by me.

    This is very informing, but now present paralysis has taken the lead, and I am trapped in a cycle of worry, for nothing.

    No real reason, just the false beliefs inside me. Which are evidence of past trauma that’s just been piling.

    Making it difficult to believe that after everything, I have the space for self-love inside of me.

    But I do, and always did.

    I let the false message from outside sources penetrate my hippocampus again and again.

    So the helmet of salvation has made its way in, I AM WORTHY of love, health, wealth, and endless peace.

    May as long as you have breath circulating you remember to believe, happiness begins inside.

    and no one can take that from you or I.

    By Sierra Mazzucca

    Los Angeles Poet

    #healing #faith #poetry