Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

This is not Blasphemy

I hate that you knew.
I dislike that you did things to make me fall harder for you.
But I can’t blame this all on you.
I was foolish for easily trusting you.
I for once let my guard down and opened up to you.
But you used it as a weapon to beat me and bruise.
I wanted to find out if this love thing was true.
I just picked the wrong person to put my faith into.
And how could I believe someone like you?
You may have money, but your spirt and soul are poor fools.
I begged God to send me someone I could give my all to.
And he sent me you, as a reminder that I don’t get to pick or choose.
I just have to play by someones imaginary rules.
What’s the difference between loving someone conscious and loving a poor fool?
Afterall the conscious were once the fools who became aware with their new set of rules.
Why do you continue to make me a magnet for a fools attraction.
I’m just trying to understand why I keep getting the short hand.
You like to bait me.
To get my reaction.
What if I turned the tables on you?
Would that make me unconscious, or sinful through and through?
This is not Blasphemy.
I have already confessed my sins to you.
I am just collecting my words, that you gave to me use.
I am aware of my mental capacity and the limit
at my patience table, which is currently lacking.
And I ran over the limit for my time capacity.
Mr. G., please help me turn off my attraction for the highly distracted, it’s a bit too much for me.
I know you want what’s best for me, but have you ever considered, yourself changing?
How are you perfect, not that I disagree.
Just seems like this is all there is ever going to be for me.
Rotten apples that fall from the cursed and poisoned tree.
That I keep biting into, as you sit by and watch me.
You seem to love me dangerously, unconditionally.
And you expect the same from me.
Though I wonder why did you make me, if you only want to break me?
Or is this really strengthening, and future preparing?
I guess I have to be patient and see.

Sierra Mazzucca

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2 responses to “This is not Blasphemy”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    Sigh. This feels spooky to me personally. Because I probably have said a lot of these lines almost word for word, or close enough to that in my prayers. Recently when I pretty much lost my shit again for thankfully only a very short period of time, this was where I was at. So I emphasize with this deeply. Honestly, this is painful beyond what most people can understand. I’m just so fucking tired of everybody just hurting each other like this in life and relationships too. Like this line right here, ” What’s the difference between loving someone conscious and loving a poor fool? Afterall the conscious were once the fools who became aware with their new set of rules.” – I have been deeply pondering this type of question and assessment right here for the past month. Like no joke! I’m in awe of the type of “spiritual awakening” (for lack of a better term) that I’ve been experiencing lately, and this is part of that. And I’m still pondering it, trying to figure it out.

    On a note in relation to your title, In my specific religious tradition, I grew up as an Evangelical Christian. I was taught you weren’t supposed to pray or think like this, or experience agony and anger at God during prayer. They called that sort of thing “Blasphemy” Ha! Funny that, because look at your title. I learned later that they were incorrect, and this is not blasphemy actually. It’s just called being honest. In my faith tradition, we put a huge emphasis on the Bible. And there are actually parables in the Bible that literally address that specific point, that of course we glossed over. And said, Nah! Let’s forget about that passage. That doesn’t exist at all! Most notably, “the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.” The tax collector was justified for his radical honesty before God at the altar, whereas the Pharisee was not for believing he was more righteous by casting judgment, and having a moral superiority complex in his mind over the tax collector. That story is really fucking deep when you do further background cultural context for it. So learning more of the lessons of that story helped me get more radically honest with myself, and in the way I viewed God. So no, it’s certainly not blasphemy. And that’s even more why I love your title!

    “You like to bait me. To get my reaction. What if I turned the tables on you? Would that make me unconscious, or sinful through and through? This is not Blasphemy. I have already confessed my sins to you. I am just collecting my words, that you gave to me use.” – This line to me is the absolute best in this! It’s incredible beyond words. And so powerful! Well, to me subjectively anyway.

    Since eight is one of the numbers for infinity in my symbolic world you get an 8888/10! This is like a therapy piece for me. Thank you for giving me, and the rest of us that! I cherish the heck out of you! I love your spirituality pieces a ton!!!! 🙏🏻

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    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Thank you for understanding and giving further context on the subject I was not even aware of . So thank you for that and your kindness ❤️ and openness.

      I try to limit my spiritual pieces as its not an everyone topic. But so happy you and I get to talk about it and I get to learn more about you and how you came to be this bright light.

      Thank you for being here, such a pleasure. No one can write a comment or response indepth with as much passion everytime like you can. Thank you 😊

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