I cant trust you anymore.
I know I’ve said it many times before.
But, you stay closing doors.
Same ones that I prayed would open for me before.
You tell me a truth, your truth.
Which is only downtown alley honesty, for gullible fools.
Just a fluke, nothing more than a thiefs barter for fake jewels.
Polish me accordingly.
Convince me to stop trusting everybody.
But have faith that you’re telling me the truth, with the same lies you have taught me to use.
It’s not lying if you beLIEeve it to be true.
Which is the message you yourself ego, kept on a loop.
Again and again. Just replaying Inside my head.
Poisoning new seeds, that I sow with loving intent.
You know exactly what to say to get under my skin.
Into my mind, suffocating my light.
You treacherous time consuming manipulative sin.
Which I now use as another word to describe your unwanted position.
But like my human condition, you exist.
That’s not saying much, but it is what it is.
I just want to coexist without your bully tactics.
Learn to trust people before you sabotage it.
Stop manifesting my own doors to be slammed.
Instead look at it like there is now less room for ego to demand.
Remove the defected old source of power, control and commands.
This process is never going to end.
As long as I keep elevating myself without the sole use of my “me center”, again.
Trust is earned not instantly gained.
A work in progress for years, not days.
The improvement with the new program has allowed me to see from this other side, one that doesn’t only rely on ideas and memories of who this me is and why.
That once worked successfully, but my needs have changed, internally.
New narrative, same goal.
With a dfferent mindset.
Just delete the old.
Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site 
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