Category: Posts
-
Throughout our lifeline, we will create safety and survival mechanisms out of necessity.The human ability to adapt, accordingly.All of which at some point in time served a purpose, in the name of surviving.Easily able to take the impact of the arrows that were aimed at me, for strengthening.I’ve grown quite familiar with pain, anger, regret…
-
The wind was so strong, it was shaking me.At first I fought back instinctively.Fight or flight have always been the only options I seen.Because I stay prepared for tragedies.With fists clenched and white knuckles, just ready.Fighting old habits and tendencies.Right when I told myself to just let go and let it be, the wind became…
-
When I was kid, we were always at the beach.Lifeguard station 26, Santa Monica is where we’d be.End of Oceanpark, where the sand met the wooden path burning.Splinters were sure to be had if sandals were not worn. But the pain wasn’t bad.Because we were free, and the ocean provided that.Sand Castles, tanning, swimming, and…
-
I’m trying.I thought that was good enough.I stopped complaining, and just accepted my life as only rough.My heart must’ve been weak, because you’ve had to strengthen me constantly.Daily.Find obstacles to push me through knowing I will do anything, to not to fail you.Show up for myself, even when I don’t feel I deserve to.Combat negative…
-
Doc these prescribed Z’s have stopped working.My mind has been busy doing double shifts and mentally I’m hurting.While my prefrontal cortex tries to see what decision is best for me.But its already rolling on 3am in between these sheets.Do I stay up thinking nonstop?Playing my own god.Trying to turn all my negatives into positives round…
-
Solace is comfort or consolation in a time of distress.I searched many years to find someone or thing that slows down the beats, that escape my chest.Unaware I was always under your care. close to where your heart rests.Lately I’ve really needed your wings to shelter me from my own mess.I’ve been plowing through life…
-
Sickness: a state of being unwell.A sickness that you can’t see.So it’s easy for most to believe. That there is something painfully happening behind the skin scenes.See, my sickness doesn’t have a permanent fix.No treatment.No chemo regimen.Radiation appointments or dialysis requirements.No.My sickness is an array of scheduled beatings of me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.My…
-
He asked if I could spare any change, as I walked by.I immediately looked into my purse to see what I could find.I turned around and approached him.This time from behind.I watched him for a second, before I actually said hi.In return Pain, desperation, hunger, loneliness, and shame.Were the emotions from that mans eyes, in…
-
I’m not one to remember my dreams.But the other day, I was hardly asleep.Convincing my eyelids to remain pressed together, avoiding opening.I seen you. You looked right through me.I don’t know what was harder, realizing it was a dream.Or knowing that even in my dreams you, don’t see me.I’m just the tilted painting in the…
-
I want to describe how I feel inside.And I want to try to explain existing in the workplace of my mind.The closest comparison that I can find is, it’s like sitting at a table in a restaurant of marvelous architectural design.With exaggerated high ceilings.Where one individual’s voice gets lost, and is impossible to find.Traveling thoughts…
