Hi, I’m Sierra Mazzucca. I want to welcome to my little corner of the internet—where words find their way through the heart’s tangled paths. This blog is home to poetry born from the quiet and loud moments of life. I write to give shape to what we often struggle to say—grief, love, healing, hope, faith, and the simple weight of everyday experience. Whether you’re navigating mental health challenges, processing loss, celebrating love, or searching for something deeper, I hope my words meet you where you are. Each poem is a reflection, a release, a reminder that you’re not alone. Thank you for being here.

  • testing 1…2

    Time after time, I find myself dropping to my knees.
    Down to the same indented part in the ground, that has lately become home for me.
    Begging for answers to be sent first- class mail delivery.
    But when I pray for strength, you send more challenges for me to complete.
    I assume it is to give me muscles spiritually, and mentally.
    Before physically strengthening my body.
    Either way you listen to my aches and soothe the sores I make.
    However it is on your time, and that you usually take.
    I get tired and scream, this is all too much for one human being.
    Why do you keep testing me?
    Will I ever be the spiritual genius you are training me to be?
    You have this relentless faith in me.
    And even more so when I find it hard to believe in my own abilities.
    Regardless of the things I said to you in poor taste, you comfort my soul until I myself can care for my own aches.
    And I have been asking you for things so casually every day.
    Like you are some sort of ATM machine here to service beings that just take.
    Lately I feel ignored, like you blocked me.
    Ghosted me.
    Credit declined.
    No peace has been paid onto me for some time.
    And For that faithless way of thinking I am sorry, it is not mine.
    I’m just getting antsy in this flesh sack you designed for me.
    Feeling this human loneliness, I wish you made me differently.
    I am aware I don’t fall for old tricks so easily.
    I understand there is a man behind the curtain trying to control me.
    But I see past the deceptive cloak the magician is wearing.
    I know I have a purpose but the tricks will continue to distract and deter me.
    Keep me thinking I have something missing.
    So I keep searching. Feeling empty. Undeserving.
    Still I pray to you. I sometimes come in pieces hoping whole is the miracle you can make of me.
    I ask you to continue to guide the path my choices made.
    That you can show grace when sending new pop quizzes for me to take.
    I will forever be grateful for this life you allowed me to make.
    Especially for the beautiful human you helped me create.
    If this rocky path is where you need me to be, then for you I will grow callouses on the bottom of my feet.
    I will continue to walk the road you laid ahead of me.
    For you have a purpose for me, in everything.

    Sierra

  • The Love Charade

    I am.you are. we are, individually, collectively the universe in its entirety.
    Little flesh sacks, made of energy.
    So why do I still feel so depleted, lonely and unloved even after awakening?
    If I am everything expressing itself congruently, why does it feel so defeating?

    I listened to a voice worth repeating.
    His words went you are alone because you no longer see the magic show and feel surprised.
    You already know the rabbits in the hat.
    There is no excitement derived when you understand and realize you are everything outside.
    You are the whole thing. Already complete.
    This null idea that we need someone whole is like a wave thinking it needs another wave to become water. Or the sea.
    It was always water.
    But the world convinced us we are all separate entities.
    Still that man insisted this loneliness is a feature which is the introduction to something out of the ordinary.
    Loneliness was a story I had been telling myself, to make it easier to sit higher up on the shelf.
    Out of the way of heartbreak.
    Mainly caused by self.
    Before awakening I seen and agreed with the way humans depicted love should be.
    But that way is transactional.
    His words would say it’s a barter system between 2 ghosts in the dark, hoping to see the light of day.
    I was taught like many others that my other half is somewhere out there looking for me.
    That I am not complete until we meet.
    And I have been playing dress up to someones made up bullcrap about me.
    They had no Whimsical thought threads.
    So, I was to continue and believe this bullshit I was fed and digested unconsciously.
    Mantras on repeat, that I will remain incomplete if I don’t find my heart’s missing piece.
    That’s fiction to say the least.
    And another brainwashing technique to break an already broken humanity.
    I was not awake for many years, so I couldn’t break that hypnotic state.
    I just kept searching, hoping I will find my other half one day.
    And that is supposed to be romance?
    This constant search for a piece that will never make you feel complete.

    Just a thought mirage. The image is sneaky and it’s mission is to deceive. Love is fear, dressed up in Versace. Sparkly.
    The possible rewards draw you in.
    Yes it’s good for a moment in the beginning when excitement loses you sleep.
    Or never ending thinking of the person and what they are doing.
    And this is called falling in love.
    As if it happens to you, but it’s something you do.
    It stems from need the desperate demand to flee from the uncomfortability of being alone with ourselves.
    Scared of being with just this stranger to you.
    To “the self”.
    It’s been forced onto us to believe there is a necessity for us to prove that we have value, we exist.
    And that another finds us deserving of that deep attention we yearn to get.
    When I woke up I seen everything as it was.
    The bargaining between two things, to give the other something the other thinks they need.
    So, I am no longer interested in chasing other beings.
    There is nothing I am missing.

    I am complete, awakened listening.
    I still see the ability involved in romanticizing and I will take a moment to observe this without being fooled by it.
    But the idea that I have a void inside me, that needs filling Is false. It was a story I told myself. tailored my entire existence around to continue to search for what never needed to be found.
    Sadly there is a piece and price to pay when you awake.
    You see the acting and all the charades.
    So, you are lonely because you are too aware to return to that old thinking state.
    And one day you find someone who is also awake, and aware.
    They don’t need someone externally to feel whole internally.
    Two expressions of the same reality.
    Experiencing life the same, but differently.

    Sierra

  • Abracadabra

    I’ve tried to break down time, but there is no sense.
    There are no words to describe how it all works or when it will end.
    I used to believe the living were the cursed.
    Now, I know I am blessed to be on this earth.
    Every life is beautiful, significant and full of worth.
    We all come from where the light was birthed.
    This living was never meant to be defined.
    It was just a gift given to you and I.
    Within an ecosystem built by a curious and magical mind.
    Every experience offers the soul to feel more alive.
    To change the familiar Into your own unique encounter of this life.
    Often times I find my eyes chasing species with wings into the sky.
    Daydreaming that I too can fly.
    I wonder if I as a human will ever get to experience that type of freedom wings bring.
    There has to be a freedom similar for us human beings.
    Is it death, is that where such a freedom will meet me?
    I know I should be grateful I have lungs with air circulating.
    Limbs that work, I should be so elated.
    But recently I’ve been mind traveling.
    It’s my way of vacationing.
    Teleporting mentally.
    You’d think it would be free.
    But it is heart taxing.
    It’s the one place I still have everybody.
    Alive, living life.
    Still, there are some memories I can’t find.
    Their locations has been turned off.
    It’s my prefrontal cortexes’ fault.
    It did a great job suppressing negative thoughts.
    Lessening the outgoing signals the amygdala gave off.
    Which also blocked my memory log.
    So, I am here trying rewind a timeline that has many missing slots.
    Painful moments.
    My memory got clever and protected me. by blurring their visuals and muting their AUXILIARY.
    This magical body knew what to do to get me from point A to point B.
    A magician created you and me.
    Who meticulously planned how his tiny creations will self sustain and survive this living.
    Abracadabra, and poof the existence of you and me.

    Sierra

  • Flesh Rewards

    I’ve remained calm and collected just the same.
    I’ve gone with your flow.
    Been alone like you insist I remain.
    I’ve seen the love you disburse to people around me.
    Just skipping over me every time, entirely.
    Like I’m a black hole.
    Where nothing good goes in, or comes out from inside me.
    Why have you chosen to exclude me from falling in love or someone sane falling for me?
    Instead, you just leave me sinking in the boat of my imaginations misery.
    Finding it hard to breathe under the weight.
    Always dangle hearts in front of me.
    After I finally catch my breath from the last test you used to strengthen me.
    You have the power to excuse this pain.
    Toss me a line, save me from drowning in loves name.
    Yet, still here I am suffocated and feeling regurgitated on your time never mine.
    I know you say the reward is great in heaven for the poor, the hungry and weeping.
    I’ve been empty, broken and lamenting.
    My tear wells have dried up indefinitely.
    My heart is showing signs of irreparable damage to my power lines.
    I turn to you without pride.
    I ask for comfort In place of distress.
    However that looks, it’s not my place to plan out or imagine it.
    I hope for deliverance from my imagination.
    For this discomfort and loneliness is not something I want to transfer, after I leave this pit of damnation.
    May I not be earthly rich when I leave this place.
    For all my comfort will have been received in material gifts, during this human stay.
    I pray the pain here is worth all the rewards the stories promised we’d be repaid.
    And maybe love will make its way to my heart, before you see fit for me to leave this place.
    Hopefully while I have the ability to reciprocate.
    Because recently I’ve been mind traveling, as an escape
    Teleporting mentally, from everything.
    It’s the one place I have access to emotions I misplaced.
    There are so many feelings I pushed away.
    It’s my prefrontal cortexes’ fault.
    It did a great job suppressing negative thoughts.
    Lessening the outgoing signals the amygdala gave off.
    Only I am here trying rewind a timeline that has many missing slots.
    Like falling in love.
    And
    Not the one imposed through blood.
    I’ve been still long enough.
    Just tell me with this flesh body ever be inlove.

    Sierra

  • Offer Declined

    For a second you had me under a spell.
    I believed you were some sort of prince charming, at first you seemed like you meant well.
    But you were sent straight from hell.
    It didn’t take me long to see you were everything but a charismatic man.
    You lack a grip of reality and sanity.
    It’s a bit alarming.
    Also closer to a frog, then a prince who is charming.
    You were and still may be obsessed with your obsession with me.
    Seemed you liked but even more hated me.
    Such a thin line between the truth and a lie.
    I sensed jealousy but to me you were feeble, and mentally weak.
    Just an extinguisher of others bright.
    A vacuum trying to suck out my light.
    All mad because you will never be the source of the twinkle in my eyes.
    Nor will you ever make me smile as bright as the skies on 4th of July.
    Definitely one thing’s for sure I could never have counted on you, even if you were a calculator.
    I would gladly delete your memory from my mind but turns out you were just an offer from the devil that I declined.
    A lesson for my heart not to trust my eager mind.
    A scar to remember that the good don’t seek to spiritually deplete your brightness, they encourage your shine.
    You are the devils imprint, I cast outside.
    You will have to fight me for what is rightfully mine.
    Please STAY OFF MY LINE.

    I didnt learn to defend what I believed in just to be mistreated by some God for saken heathen.

    Sierra

  • Screw you LU!

    I’m tired of you LU.
    Even so your grasp over him, will not become my undue.
    I know you wish I was as petty as you.
    But my faith prevents you from getting a chance to steal from me, like you used to do.
    You moved into his brain and sucked out his wants and a life he never knew.
    Again you got him begging for poison, to rid himself from you.
    You LU!
    You are the reason he feels he needs to.
    It is because you convinced his mind nothing he thinks can ever be true.
    So he found a way to silence you.
    Or at least he believed that to be true.
    When in reality he only pulled you closer to, what’s left of the brother I knew.
    Does it excite you he draws himself nearer to death, by his own hands nonetheless?
    Or your hands who convinced him they are his, and what he is doing is for the best.
    You got into his head, now you want his heart.
    Still jaded you were cast out into the dark.
    You became nothing, even less than before.
    Just a fallen, disobedient, little used to be, angel boy.
    While my brother may be under your control in his flesh temporarily, but you will never take the love god instilled in him or me. Thats his to forever keep.
    He’s a solider, who may appear to be weak.
    But his soul is pure and you cant snub him out permanently.
    I hold hope one day my brother will be completely set free.
    I just want him back.
    My funny,smart ass brave brother.
    He deserves to experience life, without you causing a commotion in his mind all the time.
    The meds lower the voices that haunt his eyes.
    If you were in a skin suit, I’d have my way with you.
    Oh LU, I will burn you to ashes again and again.
    I’d be a frequent confessor, if you were in a humans skin.
    GOD forgive me for speaking so true and callous as it is late, but fuck you LU.
    I am ready to fight you.

    Sierra

  • Silently

    There is only one of you.
    You are unique in a world full of identity and light thieves.
    You stand tall.
    And you stand out.
    You have learned to get right back up when you have fallen down.
    You believe you feel more than most beings.
    Though, that’s not the right way of thinking or seeing.
    As there are so many suffering daily, silently.
    They are doing things that unintentionally drive daggers into their hearts further, repeatedly.
    Thinking it’s the right thing.
    Unaware of the depth each blow makes, and spirit keeps.
    There are many people who feel their life is an empty affair. No room for hope do they seek.
    No one is there.
    There is no remedy for a feeling that can’t be met by words our mouths cant physically express.
    Or at least have done so yet.
    The disconnection from tongue to chest.
    Life is lonely and is hard especially when you feel like you are at war with yourself indefinitely .
    You end up playing your own God in human physique.
    Trust me Ive tried numerous times and failed miserably.
    I have fallen so many times I am finding it easier to choose to retreat before taking on pain that has no business hurting me.
    I stay carrying your shield deflecting all the arrows being shot at me.
    They are flying around in hopes to hit me.
    Oh but I am unique , and hold faith like redwood roots for 100’s of decades.
    I stay firm.
    I stand tall and move quietly.
    It takes a lot for me to fall, and sometimes when I do, I do it Silently.

    Sierra

  • Mad Hatter Tea Party

    Oh feeling of regret, why have you chosen a seat for tea on my chest?
    You seem to make yourself comfortable with each day I lose rest.
    Everything is temporary, even the hours I pray I get.
    The dreams I wish I had set.
    I said I want, but am I truly willing to take the necessary steps?
    I say I need, but what do I mean by I or me?
    In comparison to the world I am just a nobody.
    Just a spirit in a body.
    Who feels unseen underneath my skin seams, by everybody.
    Beauty externally is fading, so they keep saying.
    Just another flesh sack rotting.
    Feelings of low self esteem start coursing through every corner of my body.
    Love isn’t lost, its always known where to find me.
    I was always on a mission trying to become unstuck, from the negative thoughts that tell me my time is up.
    I have to un-define and rewrite this narrative, riddled with lies and mistrust.
    Behind my eyes the truth was caged up.
    There I knew I deserved love.
    Still, there was this fiction story I kept adding to.
    In hopes it would become true.
    I made myself too broken to be someone’s whole.
    Who would’ve knew.
    And, it took time and dedication to create this false belief that I am some sort of backwards damsel in distress.
    Who is never stuck or in need.
    It was me that set the scenes, and wrote the lines I’d then repeat.
    I placed myself alone in a position where I felt I had to be my everything.
    No prince charming would come and save this “used to be”.
    Pushed away from everybody, as a measure of precautionary.
    I want perfection and that’s an impossibility.
    An imagination stuck at a Mad hatter tea party.
    Always invited.
    No such thing as perfection amongst the living beings.
    I am alone , because loving me doesn’t come easily for the human breed.
    I create false mental imagery.
    I make the table for every Tea Party.
    All I need is to change the narrative, I keep editing .
    Chaos takes over when you let your feelings run things.
    So yeah regret you may have a seat at my creative table, currently.
    But this story was written before lies tried to suffocate who I am supposed to be.
    And I can take back my control over the things I say and thoughts I believed.
    Even if I try to convince myself I have nobody, woe is me in fluent victim-ease.
    My table is set, but no one but the lies are coming.
    The only thing I can do, is change how I respond accordingly.
    Stop drinking vials of words that shrink me.
    Yes, I may be invited to more Debby downer feeling tea parties, but I have a choice if I want to RSVP.
    I have the power to say No, I will not be attending.
    I will stay where my feet are, in reality.
    Not making up stories that cause me to shrink within an idea of how I am supposed to be.
    Can’t regret what you don’t need.
    If love was supposed to be an attendee, then life will send an invitation.
    But for now, it’s still pending.

    Sierra

  • Light Thief

    You mad I don’t ever want you back?
    You see me shining bright.
    And all you can think about, is snuffing out my light.
    You had no good redeeming qualities.
    Just a washed up, drugged out, old news commodity.
    Even if I was starving, I wouldn’t split bread with a thief.
    Tried to steal my shine away from me.
    Just so you can pretend to look for it, like some heroic almighty.
    You forgot I was raised by the streets.
    I never trusted you as far as my arms could reach.
    While you had one hand pretending to help me seek.
    Your other was always riding up somewhere on my body.
    Sleeping next to you became agonizing and daunting.
    My eyes would be sore come sunrise.
    All from trying to stay awake, to prevent you from taking away my consent, and having your way with me while I slept.
    You never had permission to touch me when I wasn’t aware of what was happening.
    Then you got insulted when I put an end to things.
    Thought your crazy act was going to scare or manipulate me to let you come back into my life, willingly?
    Silly boy, I have said and done worse to myself.
    Even so the things you said, I won’t repeat to anyone else.
    You are chum, no nerve. just fat trash.
    Just to give you further context on that, in case you cant see, this is my last piece about a wicked disgusting light thief.

    Sierra

  • My Emma

    I’m so sorry my Emma.
    I should not be crying hysterically.
    But you were still and always will be my kitty.
    I remember when I first met you.
    You, your mom and siblings were rescued.
    You were always the spunky one out of your crew.
    You were so sweet, you’d get excited when Id clean the room.
    You knew seeing me meant treats for you.
    You started to like me.
    And I fell inlove with you.
    Then I was sad, but happy when someone adopted you.
    I cried but was elated someone will get to experience the sweet sunny spirit in you.
    Then sadly my sister died, and I was so broken.
    And left utterly empty inside.
    But Something happened and you came back into my life.
    Like she sent you, to try to comfort my heart and make it feel alright.
    So I adopted you, and I loved you.
    It took a year for you to acclimate to everything new.
    But once you did, you were a silly little cat who enjoyed antagonizing the birds under the sun rays out back.
    Then one day the universe took it all away. The house, the birds your safe space.
    Your home, your happiness and grace.
    I had to make the heart wrenching decision to give you away.
    As I had no choice I was looking for a home to stay.
    I thought I sent you to a safe place.
    Where you would get love, care and kindess for the rest of your long days.
    I’m so sorry you died alone, without me.
    Without comfort, that broke me.
    I hope you are running free.
    Please do me a favor say hi to my sissy.
    I will always love you Emma, my kitty.

    Sierra

    I’m so sorry Emma. I will always Love you.