Hi, I’m Sierra Mazzucca. I want to welcome to my little corner of the internet—where words find their way through the heart’s tangled paths. This blog is home to poetry born from the quiet and loud moments of life. I write to give shape to what we often struggle to say—grief, love, healing, hope, faith, and the simple weight of everyday experience. Whether you’re navigating mental health challenges, processing loss, celebrating love, or searching for something deeper, I hope my words meet you where you are. Each poem is a reflection, a release, a reminder that you’re not alone. Thank you for being here.

  • I wanna be ok

    I might lose you here. But who are you anyways? I want ME to be OK. Like actually. Not like that fake it to you make it poster in therapy. You know next to the one of a cat dangling on a branch saying, “hang in there”, ironically. I want to be happy like physically, mentally and, emotionally congruently. Not stuck In the same reoccurring woe is me poopy loop, of why them and not me boohoos. Feels like healing is always two steps forward, just to get kicked back three steps, mentally. I’m tired of my stinking thinking, 50 outta 50. I just wish when I slept that it was actual rest, instead of some torture dungeon Inside my head. Viciously beating my spirit through my chest. All these thoughts I bred, while trying to release the, “ I don’t need ”, with the claw machine I built inside me, using my tools from therapy. Who am I and why am I not 100% OK. Because I want to be OK. I want to be genuinely happy. I want to see what you see. I never in my life understood the line , I am happy to be me. Because I didn’t and still don’t have anything but ego and a personality. that was tailored and fitted to me. All because that’s what they told me. and what was I to compare it to, if that was the only me I ever knew. It’s strange, that I am everything I think I am because, I listened to the description of the character I fit into for them. I just want to be OK. not for your role, but for my sanity’s sake. But who am I, If I am not me? And what does OK actually mean if OK is based off of someone else’s self-evaluation. but they too don’t know themselves. Ohh, that’s confusing. How would I ever know if I am happy as myself within myself if I have never met anyone who has ever been themselves? I just want to be me. I just want to be happy, and the most genuine version, this body mind and soul can be.

    Sierra Mazzucca

  • Slow down, show grace

    Hi, if I could give you some advice, be kinder to yourself and slowdown in life. This is not a race. I can surely promise you rushing doesn’t mean you win a medal or first place. Even with you stressing, it’s all going to take just as long as it wants to take. So enjoy, and embrace. The meeting you are running late to, will still be there, and you in just a few. The light that skipped your turn, it can’t hear or understand the energy you pointlessly exert, while throwing your hands up with lots of cuss words. Your kid’s not gonna melt if you’re 2 minutes there after the bell. Your laundry that you penciled in for 12pm, well that too can wait there friend. You assume these minutes in the future you will meet. You forget not everything on the list we make, gets to be marked complete. You feel if you are not doing something all the time for that list, that we are lazy and worthless. My goodness! do you now see, that’s only ever been in your mind, it was never reality. Seriously, stop thinking it’s exhausting. And this is from me to me. You are more than those flaws only you can see. Or the check marks missing on the lists you keep, just to torture yourself for the ones you could never mark complete. You look great, so stop looking in every mirror to find something more to hate. You got glasses, but your vision and perception still are not that great. Keep working on yourself, don’t ever take a break. Slow down though. be kind, and just show yourself some grace.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #Grace #poetry

  • Membership revoked

    I hadn’t thought about you in some time because I tried so hard to evict you from my mind. I worked on trying to lend others my time. Instead of trying different ways to rewind our line. I just don’t want us to go back in time. So down memory lane alone, am I. I need to remember what grabbed my attention, what made me fall so hard for the same type. With you things felt different, you made me feel so warm at times. It could be because, you are a ball of fire. Your soul illuminates’ life, where death surely transpires. Your vibrations create ballads of soul notes sung by angelic choirs. But there is poison lurking behind your heart. As beautiful as you seem, you are just as dark. We started so bright, but then began to fall and so did our light. I tried increasing my spirit lumens, but nothing could ever fill the hole you carved into the depths of my mind, not even light. I allowed you a space inside, but not to fill it with lie after lie. I dreamed of us night after night. You were on this pedestal I kept pushing up, further into the sky. Always leaving myself behind because I believed you needed more than I could ever supply. That love I gave you , yeah that what was mine. The throne I loaned you, well you had your time. Your membership to my hippocampus has been revoked, bye bye.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #lapoet #love #lust

  • Love the idea

    Sometimes, not all the time, I wish I could’ve loved you and that it would have been enough for me to stay around to lift you up. I know everyone deserves that support, it just couldn’t be that way for us. Probably because all I ever seen when I looked at you was a past I didn’t want back. You broke pieces of me, and brought out a version of me that you could easily control and defeat. So I pushed that identity off a ledge somewhere in the past, where I fought to leave you be, and erase the old path. Preventing her existence from ever traveling back to me. I always told you I’d be honest, even if it hurt. Though I am not a sadist, so I’ll try to not make this sting or burn. When it comes to giving love that part of your body just doesn’t seem to work. Too many pieces are missing or they have been cauterized and burned. It’s clear you are broken, and very deeply hurt. I kept trying to fill an empty skin sacks insatiable appetite of, ME ME ME. Forgetting who comes first, me. The irony is you pushed me so far in, I learned why I choose people who can never love or commit. because the same pieces they were looking for, I too was missing. So yeah, sometimes not all the time, I wish I could’ve loved you. But there were too many broken pieces and not enough wholes. I hope you find all the pieces you lost. i hope you find everything to make yourself whole.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #lapoet

  • Universal communication

    Meaningful patterns of significance and circumstances, that’s what life is made up of. No happen chances. The universe wants to talk to you. We have been so intent on looking for coincidences that we almost always lose the ability to see or hear what it is telling us to do. All the energy we use is given to us, just to transmute. It acts as the universes fuel and my soul food. So when we learn to communicate with it, our lives will start to shift significantly, indefinitely, almost immediately. Like every sense is awake and aware. As you change your way of thinking, you will start to see the exchange has always been there, we just blocked that road off from any form of communicating. It was on a different frequency than you or I were allowing our vibrations to reach. When your awareness is clear you become open minded. You begin to experience your existence, without feeling like you need to find the coincidences. The overall picture is ever changing but remains vivid and clear. The skeleton and skin holding together your life system relies on practiced muscle memory to not be forgotten. Similar to the line I keep open to receive . I finally learned how to communicate effectively, with the patterns the universe lays out in front of me. When the universe talks, I listen attentively. Weightless energy, I let the wind blow me in whichever direction it sees fit for me. I can only hope we never stop communicating in this soul language, the universe interprets through me.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #universal

    #inspire #freedom

  • Psyche cataloging

    I drift off sometimes and lose track of time. Where I misplace seconds and minutes that turn into hours of separation from my consciousness, and I. I would wonder what the cause of this was. So I mentioned it to Mr. M., and he said it’s the separation from union, known as Disassociation. That’s where you detach from your thoughts, feelings and memories. Like you go off into some blank place where there is no active energy. Just still, absent, floating. Yeah, that sounds like what I have been experiencing. I’ve been sorting through the facts and fibs scattered within the psyche catalog I have been keeping. Determining which memories were actuality, fever dreams, or scenes from old movies and shows I had seen. But no, they were chapters from a life I was trying to forget, desperately and quietly . So much so I mastered the art of being here, but not mentally. I don’t remember how old I was when I created a space within myself, where I would go when my consciousness felt inundated and overwhelmed. It worked well for many years. I could just stare off into the abyss, and forget the present, the here, the everything, I wasn’t . But that person is no longer me, and that process has no positive benefits for the next volume of this journey. So I may drift, only now I am aware and I notice it . I catch it, and reprocess it. I refuse to allow anymore of my time living, to be missed.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #lapoet #mentalhealth

    #growth

  • Love Cartridge

    She’s easy on the eyes. Funny most of the time. She isn’t a mess ,and is comforting when you don’t feel your best. She answers your calls and responds to your texts. even if they come in after she is fast asleep in bed. Because your number bypasses the DND mode she has set. Yet she’s still not who you picture when you close your eyes to rest. When you paint a picture of your future, there is no resemblance of her, wearing your family crest. She is only a past time, until you find someone that fits your look and matches your perfect filtered life. The one I used to hope for, the one I once prayed could be mine. But where I see something, you choose to be blind. I am not the ideal lover you dreamed, you’d find. I don’t match anything you typically like. Still, you take and take from my well of life. You lie to continue your use of me, until you find a new source that meets your supply, for your edited For you page life. And After you depleted my cartridges of love, you leave me alone and left to replenish what you needlessly drained me of. I will mention I am not free from all the blame, I actively and willingly chose to participate. I chose, so I can choose differently. I think I am finally ready to choose me, indefinitely. #gotrespectforme.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #lapoet

    #Gotrespect#me

  • The human role

    My higher power makes magic, right in front of me out of what’s inside of me. As I am made in his image. Sometimes I am too self absorbed to see or believe. I question every good thing, with, are you sure this is for me? I am sincerely wondering if he’s finally tired of performing miracles of magic within me. Because to be fair, I am exhausted, and he’s the one that’s been carrying me. I’m the person who questions everything, even if I know it all works out eventually. And it does, but not because of me. Though I may be his biggest pain so, I know he’s somewhere throwing his arms up because of me. Still loves me. Anyone else would’ve given up on me. But he shows up for me. Though sometimes I would love to believe that I too have magic, and I’m not just a measly human being. But I am , and I forget that GOD complex is easy for me to slip back into and play make believe. I have to learn to be a willing audience member when it comes to him performing magic, while using me. Without questioning, are you sure this was meant for me? Because obviously there has to be something bigger than me, otherwise how the heck am I still waking up daily. It’s this unspoken faith that he has given me and the many opportunities to see. I am aware, and practicing the act of not worrying. I truly believe, my higher power provides as he knows all my needs. I am now only practicing the human role assigned to me.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poet #poetry #lapoet #poems #inspire #faith

  • Charming Tales

    It makes me sad that as a little girl I believed I’d find my Prince Charming and we would get that happy fairytale ending. Much like the ones I would hear read to me at bedtime. Or the drilling from my father that if I was cleaned up enough, I would get to marry money and comfort, would be in sight. I would just have to be a good girl and an even better wife. Marry a doctor, a lawyer, or a professional hustler for security. He didn’t encourage me to be successful, just a successful bride. It was shown early on to me, there was no need to marry for love or what is right. Now I see this was a father’s lazy offering to get himself off the line of teaching and fathering. So, I grew up and kept waiting and waiting for my prince savior to arrive before me. I waited and no one ever came. Nobody to kiss me awake, to whisk me away. So I kept my heart open but welcomed nothing inside. I was being held captive by myself, the dragon who guarded the line between fiction and real life. I needed to be slayed, in order to be freed from someone else’s narrative, that kept me feeling unworthy and incomplete. Always comparing myself to what I was taught to believe. I trusted a book of made-up stories and lies my underdeveloped mind made into facts I held onto very tight. I believed my dad, who would be the main offender of my 1st broken heart, which I’d eventually need to mend. Same guy who showed me to not trust anybody completely because they will leave, and he did that without even talking. I eventually learned that my life isn’t some fairytale story I was told it could be. Even after all that, there is a gullible girl inside me, holding onto hope for her prince charming.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #poetry #poet #Lapoet #Tales

  • Transformation

    I’ve heard finding your own individuality means you have to die while living. You have to write off the very existence of who you claimed to be. Transformation isn’t just getting something new, it’s losing everything old that you were told to believe. Your good ol ego will fight to stay whole. Knowing its existence relied on you staying in the mold, allowing it to keep its hold. And as you are awakening, the darkness hovers just eager to take control. Soon doubt will step in, and convince you this phase is just a trend. It could be weeks, months or years before it ends. You may become tired and lose hope, allowing ego to step back in. It will act as if and play enlightened, but it’s just going to pull you right back into soul depleting hibernation. So don’t allow distractions. Stay woke. You may find yourself feeling completely alone and most at this point would run back to their spiritual ego. But when you truly submit, you can create a fertile place for the birthing of yourself, that never had the chance to exist. It’s been said that It’s a very lonely path ahead because It’s killing off who only ever existed in your head. You will need to be strong enough to watch your mind break apart and come back together again. Awakening is not something we can instantly attain and I am learning and waking up a little more with every mistake I make. I am sending a funeral invite out today, to pay respects to the existence I never identified as me. Transformation isn’t getting something new, its destroying everything old and useless that was grown inside you, in spite of you.

    Sierra Mazzucca

    #lapoet #poetry #hope