Sierra Mazzucca's Poetry site

A collection of poems

Pain is physical suffering or discomfort caused by injury.

Currently every nerve in my body is firing off aggressively.

I can barely keep my thoughts functioning.

I keep trying to find peace for this pain ridden body.

But something greater appears to enjoy watching me.

Listening to me cry.Squirm in discomfort for nearly a week, unable to get one wink of sleep.

Only to realize the pain is being caused by me, not he.

Stressing over someone else’s everything.

While they are vacationing, I am desperate to find even the smallest bit of release.

From this inconceivable pain.

Because I worried too much about someone else’s needs, and this is the gift I received.

There is no position I can put my body in currently, that will make it all feel ok.

And just enough to be able to breathe comfortably let alone sleep one day.

I’m so mad at myself for causing this trauma to my body unconsciously.

I thought I was getting better at managing my innate need to do everything hard, or else it doesn’t count for me.

A very dangerous way of living.

I don’t want to have a heart attack, worrying.

My body is obviously trying to tell me to slow down, give that back we can’t process their stress, this skin sack will wreck.

Stop when I feel over extended instead of pushing myself to near death.

This is the only skin sack I get.

So if it breaks down, that is the end.

I need to stop trying to please the unpleasable, with their insatiable appetites and the me me me quartets.

Inevitably causing my body more anguish and stress.

I have to learn to help, without forgetting about my self health.

It’s not worth it to be in pain over someone else’s poor decisions they made.

I am practicing putting my oxygen mask on first, before I end up in a black hearse.

Black hearse with blood streaks and barbed wire, ghost faces in dark smoke above, rainy and stormy scene

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5 responses to “Pain to black hearse”

  1. Christopher Hall Avatar

    Goddamn… I remembered you saying that your back was messed up during the open mic. My God, I didn’t expect it would turn out like this. I’m very sad to hear that. Damn…. 😔😢 Please take care of yourself. Please. Like, I understand that people in your life depend on you. And yeah, I know, life doesn’t stop turning for any of us in our pain and sorrows unfortunately. But as you already know as beautifully expressed here, YOU must definitely have to come first! No more exceptions to that rule! And for goodness sake, drop me a message next time when things are rough as shit like that. Even if you can only just get out two words, I at least could’ve known shit was hitting the fan for you, and sent you some positive vibes, love, and encouragement on your way. Like, that is absolute hell. I definitely will send prayers and good vibes your way since I know you’re in this kind of shape like right now immediately after this comment. Just get through this hell one second, one moment, one day at a time. ❤️🌻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      I honestly didnt think it would be so bad. It just keeps getting worse. But I truly am grateful for your words. That recording took so much to do I literally am struggling breathing 😫.

      Nothing is permanent, thank God 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Christopher Hall Avatar

        Lord have mercy, that definitely doesn’t sound good at all if it keeps getting worse. You shouldn’t be struggling to breathe like that either. Don’t you dare hesitate to get yourself medically checked out if you have to. Please keep resting, and give grace to your body, mind, spirit, and soul. You won’t be far from my mind, and I’ll be checking up on you this weekend. I would give you a virtual hug, but that damn back isn’t cooperating, so I’ll just give you a smile instead! 😀😁

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The Creative Chic Avatar

    Very relatable. Don’t forget to be kind to you and take care of yourself. Big hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sierra Mazzucca Avatar
      Sierra Mazzucca

      Thank you for stopping by sweet soul. Yes, I know many of us go through this. You are so kind and right. I need to be far kinder to myself. Hope you have a beautiful weekend 💫

      Like

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